My positive birth when things went 'wrong'
- mountainbirthing
- Apr 23, 2023
- 3 min read
Why my birth experience was incredible and positive....yet I had a bunch of interventions
'What if my birth goes 'wrong'?' Ever found yourself thinking this? Usually by 'wrong' we mean having interventions in birth (like forceps) or baby being in distress.
I want to tell you about my first birth experience and why things going 'wrong' did not get in the way of my incredibly positive experience.
So what happened? On paper...I had a long second stage...I had my waters broken for me...I was transferred from a midwife led unit in Weston-super-mare via ambulance to a labour ward 45 minutes away in Bristol, blue lights all the way...I had an episiotomy (that had 3 stages)...I was catherterised multiple times...baby was identified as being in distress...I had a ventouse delivery ...I had a 3rd degree tear that required surgery...I had a smaller baby and had a 3 day stay in hospital due to an infection.
Pain relief? I had a tens machine and some paracetamol (until the surgery of course where I had a spinal block) - and that did the job fine.
My experience of the above? Exhausted but relaxed. Elated. Powerful. In control. Disbelief I'd had a real baby. The medical staff in theatre with me will attest to how deliriously happy I was following the birth as I would not shut up and my dad thought I had gone a bit mad whilst we were waiting for my baby to get back from checks.
Elated, powerful & in control
But how can this be? How can so much go 'wrong' and yet it be seen as a positive birth? So much of what we see online (particularly once we start looking into hypnobirthing) can make us feel that a positive birth is a particular type of birth. One that involves lots of quiet meditation, maybe at home, one where there's very little or no interventions. This can make you feel that as soon as something different happens then your chances of a positive birth are gone.
In reality - you can have a positive birth whatever turns your birth takes. You can also chose to have interventions that you feel are right for you and you can absolutely cope with the unexpected.
I knew A LOT about how birth could progress and the different interventions. I studied birth and pregnancy a bit like my life depended upon it. I know more now as a qualified hypnobirthing teacher, and could have made different decisions, but I am still happy with the ones I made almost 4 years ago now. Knowing roughly what was happening helped so much to put panic at bay. And the real deal breaker - the breathing, visualisations and affirmation techniques I'd learnt through hypnobirthing. Hands down this got me through.
Putting the time into preparing for birth and practising hypnobirthing techniques meant I had all the tools I needed to draw upon when things changed or moved away from what I had expected. Having my partner super close, informed and making decisions for me when I needed him to meant that I didn't need to over analyse the situation. I felt safe.
Ultimately though, I'd worked hard to eliminate any fear of birth I may have had lurking in my brain, which meant that I was so very excited to meet my baby and experience my body doing its thing (even if it did have some help along the way). This is what hypnobirthing helps you to do. With the right support and practice you can truly look forward to a positive birth and know that you can reflect on the experience with love and in the knowledge that you armed yourself with the best tools for your special day.
My mission is to share these techniques and experiences with as many wonderful families as I can through my hypnobirthing and antenatal courses, creating a safe space to learn and prepare for the day when they meet the human they have been growing. To help them welcome their child with joy, confidence and calmness - and arm them with all the tools they need to deal with any turn their birth takes. If you're not based in Weston-super-mare, Bristol or the wider Somerset area then I also offer my bespoke antenatal 1:1 courses online over Zoom - just drop me a message.
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